Imagine putting the load/luggage meant for an articulate vehicle (trailer) inside an SUV, what will be the outcome? Definitely, the luggage will squash the SUV. For every vehicle, there is a capacity that it can accommodate, any attempt to alter that can result in colossal damage or loss. At times, the result might not be evident to the physical eyes immediately but in a long run, the effect will be obvious.

We are each wired with different capacities, likewise, we have varying abilities to absorb any kind of shock/abuse that might come our way. In a stylish way, abuse has found a safe haven in religion and culture­ that makes victims think – what will people say? My religion forbids divorce but preaches total forgiveness. In that vein, a lot of promising young persons have found themselves in the grave earlier than anticipated as a result of abuse.

So, when is it enough to quit an abusive relationship or marriage? When can one say NO and absolute NO? The answer is inexhaustible. Some have been in an abusive relationship for years and still counting, whereas some do not survive it for months. The latter do not live to tell the story.

There are cases of wife/girlfriend killing their husband/boyfriend and vice versa over seemingly flimsy issues. “Ole ki n j’agba ko ma se loju firi”, meaning; there would have been signs leading to this kind of action.

So, when is it okay to walk away? The answer to this question is personal, as what A can cope with, B might not survive it. Definitely, you will know when you reach the peak. For some, once a partner raises their hand to hit them, that is the end of the relationship/marriage. With our culture/religion; it makes the matter worse in making a decision to quit. “What will people say?” has led some to their untimely death. While our religion preaches forgiveness, the way some people have chosen to interpret it has led them to meet their Creator sooner rather than later.

It’s you who will determine when to quit and no one else can do that for you. Remember, if that man or woman kills you, it won’t take a while before he/she will move on with his/her life, that is if they are not brought to book.

Remember, wisdom is profitable to direct.

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